I liked the part when you wrote that ''you shouldn't have done that'' that made my hair go up straight all the way.
Keep writing awesome stories.
I loved every part of your story!
p.s. IT WAS AWESOME!
That is a cool story good job and cool pictcher.
I loved how you added your sound effects and you saved the day haha.
Your story was really great.
I had an awesome time reading your story !!
I agree with ibrahim your sound effects were awesome.I also like your story .GREAT JOB I THINK YOU DESERVE A 4++.
I like how Connor is always getting himself into a mess and losing things! I also like that Derek's ball has been cursed: whenever he calls someone a chicken, he turns into a chicken.